ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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