no, he came in my armpit
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
