On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
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All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
we're so committed to being not committed
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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