I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize