i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
did you just send me my own nude
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
