my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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