I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
