the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
