And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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