i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
false alarm, still single
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
