i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
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I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
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You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.