yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.