yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
