i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
