I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
