I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
