All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
