I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
