Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
