Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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