I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i would punch a child for taco bell
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
