i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
