it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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