i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
