shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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