Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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