She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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