Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
