suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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