I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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