And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
