I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize