Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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