I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Girls should come with a carfax report
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
