He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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