And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I need to sanitize my soul.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
