Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
