Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
These tits shall not be calmed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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