You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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