Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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