My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
