Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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