Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
tell your sister to shave her snatch
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
