maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
