I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I smell like Dick and happiness
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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