you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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