So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
