so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
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