He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
