good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
