I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
