dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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