I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
