idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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