Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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