five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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