what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
