She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
