If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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