we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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