I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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