awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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