I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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