i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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