we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
