BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
